This is a post to vent.

As I was trying on powder at a make-up counter with an employee, my sister asks how often I wear powder. I answer "as often as I wear make-up, which averages every other week," and she responds, "you're so lazy." I didn't respond, and if I did, it wasn't a strong comment or else I'd remember it. I held back, because I knew it was another opportunity for me to bigger than my sister. I could have responded (here's where the venting comes in) "You may call me lazy, but I could call you insecure, superficial, and vain." It is partially true that I don't wear make-up everyday because I'm lazy, and it's not the falsehood of her comment that upsets me, it's the fact that she said it in front of a complete stranger as she was doing my make-up. Did she embarrass me in front of the lady to make herself feel better? Did she call me lazy so she wouldn't recognize her own insecurities? She is the epitome of the kind of person who puts others down to make herself feel better. It's funny because she thinks the same thing of me. But I don't insult her heavy eye makeup or her unnatural colored contacts. I don't point out the fact that she's 24 and not yet at a 4-year university. If I do point out her flaws, it's out of frustration with those flaws and not for my own validation. I have recently pointed out to her that it's questionable that she made $40,000+/year and has no savings to show for it. But I pointed that out because I was frustrated with her asking my mother (who makes less than that) for money. Her heavy eye makeup, colored contacts, and education don't affect me, thus I don't point them out. How does my seldom wearing makeup affect her?

I admit, I used to be the person who puts her down to make myself feel better. I can't point out a specific instance, but it does feel familiar that I've mentioned that I'm smarter than her. But I haven't done this in a long time, and I've matured since then. I've matured so much that I don't even think that I'm smarter than her. I acknowledge that she has strengths in areas I don't, and vice versa. I don't even use college education as an equivalent to intelligence anymore. She had her reasons for postponing her education, and that's fine.

I don't wear make-up everyday because I grew up not wearing makeup everyday. While old habits die hard, new habits are hard to create. I also don't feel the need to hide my flaws everyday, whom do I need to impress? To me, putting on makeup serves the purpose of impressing, and I don't need to impress someone everyday. That is where we're different. She feels the need to impress someone everyday. I'm not judging her reasoning, I'm just acknowledging that we're different. Like we're different in intelligence. If I'm mature enough to acknowledge our differences without valuing it as inferior or superior, why can't she?