O Canada

Last week I went to visit family in Winnipeg, the capital of Manitoba, a province in the great country of Canada. It has been 11 years since I last visited Winnipeg, and 3 years since I last saw that side of my family. There were a lot of new cousins I had never met before. There were at least 50 family members, who are all relatively close. I love having such a huge family. I couldn't find the words or the reason to express why I love it. I said, "it's like you never run out." And my sister laughed at me. But I almost mean it literally. In this recession, hearing about all these people being laid off and losing their homes, family is the only thing keeping you from being homeless, because unemployment benefits only last 6 months. It's not like I'm anywhere close to being in such a situation. But if you have a small family, and they're all unemployed...then what?

So we went to Canada for my maternal grandmother's 71st birthday (I know, it's a random age). She was so happy the whole weekend...literally hundreds of people gathered for her. I was only there for 4 days, and didn't get much chance to talk to her. But on the night before I left, she pulled me aside, and we had a deep 10-minute conversation. She did most of the talking, as if she wanted to teach me 21 years worth of wisdom to make up for the fact we only see each other a few times a decade. She reminded me of several things that I have chosen to forgotten. She told me how important family is, and to never let arguing keep us apart. I hear a lot about white people and how they don't speak to their family members anymore because of some falling out. I think that's what she was referring to...how she isn't estranged from anyone in her family. She told me how she helps out her family wherever she can, even relatives from her late husband's side in Vietnam.

Then she addressed the anger issue. Somehow, though she barely ever sees me, she knows how angry I get with one of my sisters. She told me that when I feel the anger rising inside me to hold it in, shut my mouth...and then the anger will subside. She said that if I speak out of anger, I will regret what I say, and I won't be able to take those words back. She was reasonable at the same time; she wasn't telling me to be a doormat. She said if my sister is truly wrong, I should address it at a later time when my anger has subsided. Common sense...but I needed to be reminded.

Lastly, she talked to me about how I treat my other sister. "You can give her money, and she'll be happy for a little bit, but if you yell at her, the pain will last forever." The giving her money part might be referring to the fact that I plan on taking care of her when I'm older. I talk down to her out of annoyance...but her cognition level is what it is, and I need to be more patient about it.

I cried when I left for the airport. That side of my family is so fun, I miss them terribly. I definitely want to visit more frequently. Fin.