I have a new reason to wake up in the morning. And if I realized this a couple years ago, I could have saved my GPA. It's my motivation to study, to trek home every night at 12 in the morning.
My mama.

Of course I have always lived for her, don't get me wrong. I guess when I was too lazy to study or too lazy to get my ass up in the morning, I only thought about myself and my grades. So even though I don't really want bad grades, I accepted them because I knew I deserved them .

It hit me when I had a conversation with Jesse last week. He had a crazy long to-do list, and we were at Jack-in-the-Box at 12:30 am (right out of an Umbrella meeting). He ordered a lot of food, and told me it was supposed to last him the whole night. "You're pulling an all-nighter, and it's week 1?" I asked him. And he explained to me how his mom has worked so hard to get him into college, to make sure he's educated and successful, and choosing Asian Am as a major could be disappointing. And to prevent all his mom's work from being in vain, Jesse has all these extracurricular activities and all these responsibilities outside of his academics to ensure his success. His to-do list consisted of almost all non-academic tasks.

Then it hit me, even though I already kinda knew. I am pre-med for my mom. My goal in life is to take care of my mom. I am here for my mom. B+ is just not going to cut it.

So even though Umbrella Council starts at 9:30 pm on Mondays. And APSA meetings with afterevents end at 10:00+ on Tuesdays. I have the weekend to study. I am going to make up for the past 1 1/2 years of forgetting why I'm here. And this epiphany better carry over to next quarter (to the rest of my life, actually), because I have to take 2 upper division Bio labs, an upper division Bio lecture, Asian Am 60C, Asian Am 101, and research. Next quarter's going to be hell. I'll be finishing up my UROP and presenting a poster on my project in May!!!! Ahhh!!!

I can't wait til APAAC and APIHM are over. I love you APSA. And I love APAAC and APIHM, but you know...