I'm on such a natural high right now. I feel soooooooo goooooood. It's like pure happiness is bursting out of me through my smile. It's better than I even imagined.

I don't know what my Step 1 score is yet. But I feel I did well. My confidence in my performance reflects the amount of effort I put into studying.

I didn't feel this good walking out of the MCAT. There are several reasons for that.

1. I know this material better than I knew the MCAT material.
2. I'm already in medical school and my future's a lot more secure.
3. I have been told that I just finished the hardest, most important exam for the rest of my career.

I feel so emotionally light right now. Like...any negative emotion or situation or thought does not matter. They do not compare to these feelings of relief and euphoria. I'm ecstatic.

I wondered, if I feel this good now, how will I feel after I get married? Though it may sound bad, I don't think I will feel this way after the wedding. Step 1 was an Everest. It was a serious responsibility that comes with the privilege of becoming a doctor. It was a measure of my capabilities. It was something to dread. As David said, I conquered my Everest. And thus, I feel on top of the world (pun intended).

Getting married will be totally different. I don't dread it. And it's not an endpoint. My Everest in this situation would be to stay married for the rest of our lives. Maybe when one of us dies, then I can be euphoric about our accomplishment. That should help with the grieving process.

I don't know how I'll exactly feel after getting married. But I know I'll be in disbelief for awhile. I will have a different identity. I'm ready for it. I just don't know what "it" is.