I woke up from a nap to a dark, empty apartment. And I felt so alone. Sleeping with my bedroom door open doesn't help the lonely atmosphere either. If it were closed, then maybe, just maybe, someone was on the other side. Usually I dread waking up from a nap in someone's presence. I don't want them to see me as lazy or unproductive.
So it was weird feeling so alone. I can't remember ever being so conscious about my loneliness. I had a strong urge to call him, an urge I haven't felt in awhile (over a week, at least, which is awhile for me). But I decided to blog it instead.
While some people have fear of commitment, I have a fear of loneliness.
But the freedom of my new single status made itself very apparent last night at our first party in our new apartment. Nothing happened, but I was free to let things happen if I wanted to.
I have been through enough to know that I don't want slutdom through my freedom. But I am my own person now, an independent individual if you will.