I have a new reason to wake up in the morning. And if I realized this a couple years ago, I could have saved my GPA. It's my motivation to study, to trek home every night at 12 in the morning.
My mama.

Of course I have always lived for her, don't get me wrong. I guess when I was too lazy to study or too lazy to get my ass up in the morning, I only thought about myself and my grades. So even though I don't really want bad grades, I accepted them because I knew I deserved them .

It hit me when I had a conversation with Jesse last week. He had a crazy long to-do list, and we were at Jack-in-the-Box at 12:30 am (right out of an Umbrella meeting). He ordered a lot of food, and told me it was supposed to last him the whole night. "You're pulling an all-nighter, and it's week 1?" I asked him. And he explained to me how his mom has worked so hard to get him into college, to make sure he's educated and successful, and choosing Asian Am as a major could be disappointing. And to prevent all his mom's work from being in vain, Jesse has all these extracurricular activities and all these responsibilities outside of his academics to ensure his success. His to-do list consisted of almost all non-academic tasks.

Then it hit me, even though I already kinda knew. I am pre-med for my mom. My goal in life is to take care of my mom. I am here for my mom. B+ is just not going to cut it.

So even though Umbrella Council starts at 9:30 pm on Mondays. And APSA meetings with afterevents end at 10:00+ on Tuesdays. I have the weekend to study. I am going to make up for the past 1 1/2 years of forgetting why I'm here. And this epiphany better carry over to next quarter (to the rest of my life, actually), because I have to take 2 upper division Bio labs, an upper division Bio lecture, Asian Am 60C, Asian Am 101, and research. Next quarter's going to be hell. I'll be finishing up my UROP and presenting a poster on my project in May!!!! Ahhh!!!

I can't wait til APAAC and APIHM are over. I love you APSA. And I love APAAC and APIHM, but you know...

Look how cute he is trying to be culturally sensitive. Ass. hole.

Considering I said that my blog needs some serious excitation, that last post really sucked balls.

I just took this cool test that figures out which candidate is aligned with my views. And it's Kucinich. Then Edwards, then Clinton, and then Obama. Romney is least aligned with my views, that fool got like -48 points or something, followed closely by Fuckabee (who has Chuck Norris approval though, hmmm). So yeah, Obama opposes same-sex marriage, but opposes opposing same-sex marriage. Yeah, it's as stupid and confusing as it sounds. He supports same sex civil unions, but not same sex-marriages. But he opposes a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. Then why doesn't he just support same-sex marriage then?

I am going to have to ask my queer friends to see how they feel about civil unions. If they're cool with it, then Obama's still cool. But there were 25 questions, and Kucinich agreed with me on ALL of them. Man, I wish he had a chance. I guess he's too liberal. Man...

Will I be wasting a vote on Kucinich? I do still want Obama to make it to the general election though. To have a person of color there...

Al Gore didn't come back, and Kerry didn't come back, so Obama probably won't come back next time around.

Now that I think about it. Obama had testimonials from prominent people in the API community on his website. But he didn't have any from the LGBT community. It's probably because they don't support him.

In these recent Nevada primaries, Obama had support from the Culinary Worker Union, which my mama is a part of. I know her though, and I know she didn't choose to support him herself. And I know my parents didn't participate in the caucuses (which I think are so stupid by the way). Their English is way too limited to know what the hell is going on at a caucus, which is why I think APALC is great for getting poll monitors out there (yes, I know Cali doesn't use caucuses).

Maybe I won't vote because I'm too confused. There's no way Kucinich is going into the general election. Do I vote for him anyway? It's a matter of principle vs. logic. Ahhh!!

Grace Young's blog totally kicks my blog's ass. Alright Jen Jen's ramblings, we need to better ourselves!

I thought of a new, not so serious resolution that I'm currently achieving actually. It's kind of embarrassing, but if I can't laugh at myself then...I should just die. Haha. See? Laughing at myself. So I do this thing that I got from my mom. I don't know why she does it, but I remember watching her do it when I was young.

I, like my mom, snap my bra in the front, then I twist it around to put it on. It's embarrassing, it's not sexy, and it's bad for my bras (because my bras have feelings too). So my resolution now is to snap my bra in the back. And it's a lot sexier that way, not to mention better for my bras. I'm already achieving this resolution, so I just gotta get kick-ass at it.

And I have a resolution for you men out there. Learn how to take a bra off with one hand. Now that's sexy.

So it's almost 8 in the morning, and I'm up trying to fix my jetlag problem. I just got back from Vietnam a few days ago. It was my first time outside of North America, and it was really fun. I went on a medical mission for the first week, and spent the 2nd week with family in Saigon that I've never met. I arrived in LAX on the 30th and was determined to make it to Vegas for New Years, which I did, yay! I wore this hot green dress that Lilian so wonderfully bought for me for Christmas. Emerson and I went to Red Room on Sahara and Valley Viewish. It's 21+, but he gots the hook-up like that. I had an Adios and it was goo-ood. We had champagne at midnight and shared a lovely Hollywood kiss. The music wasn't my style, I don't know how to dance to 80s and House. I wish I were a better dancer. Emerson's learning how to dance really well, and I'm so envious. He's busting out JT moves. Hot stuff.

Anywho, so my New Year Resolutions are:
1. Lose 20 pounds. This may sound extreme, but I lost 12 last fall. And I probably gained it all back in Vietnam (I haven't weighed myself yet). Man, if I accomplish this...it'd be really awesome. Haha. I hope my butt and boobs stay the same though. Well, I guess I can afford to lose some of my butt.
2. Graduate with at least a 3.5. Yeah, I'm graduating this year, guys. My heart was set on studying abroad in Hong Kong, but I realized, I don't need to study there, I just need to live there. So I'm walking in the spring, but will be finishing up classes in the summer. And will go to Hong Kong some time next year?
3. Get at least a 3.5 in my remaining Bio classes. My science GPA definitely needs some boosting, and it's too late to wish for a science GPA of a 3.5, but I can absolutely try to get that in my remaining 6 Bio classes.
4. Pass the CBEST. This is the California Basic Educational Skills Test to become a substitute teacher. I'm taking 2 years off before medical school and thought that becoming a sub would be a great way to kill time, and make money in the process.

I can't think of anything else I want to accomplish this year. Of course I have some life goals that I'll continue working on (eg., less judgmental). But I'll be very happy if I achieve those 4. I'll update you in one year!