SIT
What surprised me recently? Receiving a big, fat check from a good friend in Las Vegas. Anyone who is this supportive of my marriage will be a life-long friend. But I was especially surprised because we're not especially close. We are friends who keep in touch (thanks facebook), and who see each other occasionally. But we're not best friends. Doesn't matter...I deeply sincerely cherish her gift and will now look at our friendship in a whole new light.
What inspired me recently? Watching "Weight of the Nation" on HBO about how fat America is. I was inspired to respect my body and my health and my youth. I'm also inspired to teach my future children to respect food and to not succumb to mass media brainwashing to eat sugar and fat.
What touched me recently? I met a 29-year-old woman who gave birth to a very sick baby. The baby died after 1 week. She was with her husband and her father when I met her, and they were a great support system. I saw pictures of the baby boy, and they were very proud to show him off like they would have been if he hadn't passed away. He was very, very cute.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
People say life is short. But really...life is kind of long. I am 24 years old. And if all goes well, I will live all the years I've lived at least 2 more times. I will get a lot done. I will impact a lot of people. I will grow a lot.
At 24 years old, I look at older people in my life and see their flaws and strengths. If I learn from their flaws and incorporate their strengths, I expect to be perfect by the time I reach their age. hehehe...I wish I could say j/k, but I'm only half-joking. I know I can't be perfect. But I also think that I'm paying enough attention to becoming the best me I can be, that I might just become the perfect me.
Flaws I've observed:
- voicing your opinion when no one wants to hear it
- smoking cigarettes
- demanding the spotlight (without even knowing that you're an attention whore)
- being in a pissy mood majority of the time
- expecting others to live life the way you would
Strengths I've observed:
- being loving
- being joyful
- letting others be
- not gossiping
- being generous
- saving money
- being mindful
- being strong
Good thing the strengths list is longer than the flaws list. Or else I'd consider myself cynical.
For me, one of the most important strengths I'm still working on is letting others be. I'm getting a little better. When someone (or a group of people) makes choices that upset/annoy/frustrate/anger me...but it doesn't affect my life...I'll just remind myself, "let it be."
This will come in very handy, not just in my personal life, but in my career. I'll be on my Labor & Delivery rotation next month and I will likely meet "mothers" who didn't get prenatal care or who used drugs during their pregnancy, and I won't dwell. I can't turn back time. It was their choice to make. Whatever happens, happens.
Reminds me of a post I saw on facebook once:
- Do you have a problem? Yes.
- Can you fix the problem?
- Yes ---> then don't worry about it
- No ----> then don't worry about it
Que sera, sera.
At 24 years old, I look at older people in my life and see their flaws and strengths. If I learn from their flaws and incorporate their strengths, I expect to be perfect by the time I reach their age. hehehe...I wish I could say j/k, but I'm only half-joking. I know I can't be perfect. But I also think that I'm paying enough attention to becoming the best me I can be, that I might just become the perfect me.
Flaws I've observed:
- voicing your opinion when no one wants to hear it
- smoking cigarettes
- demanding the spotlight (without even knowing that you're an attention whore)
- being in a pissy mood majority of the time
- expecting others to live life the way you would
Strengths I've observed:
- being loving
- being joyful
- letting others be
- not gossiping
- being generous
- saving money
- being mindful
- being strong
Good thing the strengths list is longer than the flaws list. Or else I'd consider myself cynical.
For me, one of the most important strengths I'm still working on is letting others be. I'm getting a little better. When someone (or a group of people) makes choices that upset/annoy/frustrate/anger me...but it doesn't affect my life...I'll just remind myself, "let it be."
This will come in very handy, not just in my personal life, but in my career. I'll be on my Labor & Delivery rotation next month and I will likely meet "mothers" who didn't get prenatal care or who used drugs during their pregnancy, and I won't dwell. I can't turn back time. It was their choice to make. Whatever happens, happens.
Reminds me of a post I saw on facebook once:
- Do you have a problem? Yes.
- Can you fix the problem?
- Yes ---> then don't worry about it
- No ----> then don't worry about it
Que sera, sera.
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Whew.
When it rains, it pours.
That's a good phrase. In the span of one month (actually less):
1. I took my Step 1 medical licensing exam (and did above the national average, just FYI).
2. David's maternal grandma passed away from an aortic dissection. It was very sudden and unexpected. It was the day before our wedding.
3. I got married to the one. The perfect man for me. The person who makes life easier.
4. I went on my honeymoon to Yosemite.
5. I began my third year of medical school.
6. I scrubbed in on an operation for the first time, which was the most difficult of that surgeon's career.
7. And David's paternal grandma passed away last night. 3 weeks after the other grandma. I said to David for the first time, "She was like a grandma to me." She really was.
In 6 days, I'll be attending my 4th funeral since starting medical school, my 5th ever. And somehow, I'm fine. I'm sad, but good. Life is still good, but different without those people in my life. Life's continuously changing, and change scares me a little. But I need to remind myself how adaptable I am...especially with David in my life. "Home is wherever you are," we say to each other.
As for that operation I scrubbed in for, the patient lost 6.5L of blood. Think three 2L soda bottles. She's a very sweet lady with a bunch of medical problems. And I got a text today on my way home that says she had to return to the operating room for bowel perforation. She'll be fine, but she was ready to get out of the hospital (her first operation was 6 days ago). And I feel guilty. It's illogical guilt. I'm just a medical student who doesn't make the decisions or the incisions. But I feel like I represent something much bigger than myself. I represent the team who is taking care of her, the UC Davis Medical Center, the health system in general. I'm really more scared than anything. I'm scared of facing her after what she's went through, because I represent the ones responsible for the things she went through.
I know I'm sounding very self-centered considering she's been through 2 operations. But this is my blog, and I have to be honest. I care too much about what others think of me. Hopefully, with enough training in this very un-glamorous profession, I'll care less and less.
I will end every blog with this, and I encourage you to end all your days with this:
S.I.T.
What Surprised me today? Getting a letter from Cordell in the mail that read in beautiful calligraphy "Mrs. Jenny Phung-Payne." I was also surprised to receive a text about my patient going back in for an operation. I knew she had an infection and her recovery was slow, but I just don't expect/want to believe that something really bad could happen.
What Inspired me today? I was inspired to write this blog entry today when I was very aware of my solemness over my patient and Grandma Betty.
What Touched me today? When David told me it meant a lot to him that I said she was like a grandma to me. And when David told me his half-brother told him "I love you," for the first time since he can remember.
When it rains, it pours.
That's a good phrase. In the span of one month (actually less):
1. I took my Step 1 medical licensing exam (and did above the national average, just FYI).
2. David's maternal grandma passed away from an aortic dissection. It was very sudden and unexpected. It was the day before our wedding.
3. I got married to the one. The perfect man for me. The person who makes life easier.
4. I went on my honeymoon to Yosemite.
5. I began my third year of medical school.
6. I scrubbed in on an operation for the first time, which was the most difficult of that surgeon's career.
7. And David's paternal grandma passed away last night. 3 weeks after the other grandma. I said to David for the first time, "She was like a grandma to me." She really was.
In 6 days, I'll be attending my 4th funeral since starting medical school, my 5th ever. And somehow, I'm fine. I'm sad, but good. Life is still good, but different without those people in my life. Life's continuously changing, and change scares me a little. But I need to remind myself how adaptable I am...especially with David in my life. "Home is wherever you are," we say to each other.
As for that operation I scrubbed in for, the patient lost 6.5L of blood. Think three 2L soda bottles. She's a very sweet lady with a bunch of medical problems. And I got a text today on my way home that says she had to return to the operating room for bowel perforation. She'll be fine, but she was ready to get out of the hospital (her first operation was 6 days ago). And I feel guilty. It's illogical guilt. I'm just a medical student who doesn't make the decisions or the incisions. But I feel like I represent something much bigger than myself. I represent the team who is taking care of her, the UC Davis Medical Center, the health system in general. I'm really more scared than anything. I'm scared of facing her after what she's went through, because I represent the ones responsible for the things she went through.
I know I'm sounding very self-centered considering she's been through 2 operations. But this is my blog, and I have to be honest. I care too much about what others think of me. Hopefully, with enough training in this very un-glamorous profession, I'll care less and less.
I will end every blog with this, and I encourage you to end all your days with this:
S.I.T.
What Surprised me today? Getting a letter from Cordell in the mail that read in beautiful calligraphy "Mrs. Jenny Phung-Payne." I was also surprised to receive a text about my patient going back in for an operation. I knew she had an infection and her recovery was slow, but I just don't expect/want to believe that something really bad could happen.
What Inspired me today? I was inspired to write this blog entry today when I was very aware of my solemness over my patient and Grandma Betty.
What Touched me today? When David told me it meant a lot to him that I said she was like a grandma to me. And when David told me his half-brother told him "I love you," for the first time since he can remember.
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