Last night, I watched a documentary titled “The Bridge.” It was about how the Golden Gate Bridge is a popular place to commit suicide. They showed it at my med school.

I have a very personal connection with the topic, so I knew I had to watch it.

The documentary starts off with the most beautiful shots of the Golden Gate Bridge. And when you think it’s just more footage of tourists walking on the bridge, you see an older gentleman climb over the rail and just jump. He didn’t even hesitate. The camera tries to follow him as he hits the water.

The documentary shows several of these jumps. And for each one, it’s as if the camera is purposely recording that person. I don’t know if it’s coincidence or if it’s someone’s job to record the bridge all the time. Either way, there’s something very odd and sad about video recording a person’s last moment alive.

One of the most powerful stories from the documentary was the story of someone who survived a jump. He said the moment he let go of the ledge, he regretted it and wanted to live. And I can’t help but think about my aunt, if she regretted it in her last moments. Or she might have felt relief. I’ll never know.

After that man who survived the jump fell into the water, he was kept afloat by a seal circling under him. And he said in his interview, “You can’t tell me that wasn’t God.” I don’t believe in “God” in the organized religion sense of the word. But I believe this man’s statement. I would call it “the universe.”

“The universe tends to unfold as it should.” Words that have shaped my life. Words from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle believe it or not.

I donated blood for the first time this week. And I had heard that the sensation of bleeding to death is emulated when donating blood. So when I was lying there and seeing that bag fill up with my blood, I felt very emotional. I was lying on my back as I imagine my aunt was also, wondering if maybe she didn’t feel much pain. Maybe she just went to sleep.