I'm nearing the end of my intern year. In 5 short weeks, I will be a second-year resident. 

I understand when people say "life is short." Though I disagree. The average life is pretty long in my opinion. I think what people really mean is "life can seem to move really fast." 

And this past year is no exception. 

Though cliche, entering this next milestone in my life forces me to be especially reflective. Self-reflection is not something I consciously practice, so it is remarkable that I've noticed myself doing it. 

Professionally, I end my first year of residency a more confident person than when I began. I proudly proclaim, "fake it til you make it," until you're not faking it anymore. I scored the highest out of my intern class on my in-service exam. My feedback from seniors and attendings have generally been positive, which I attribute to my faking it. Ultimately, this has resulted in me not having to fake so much. Just as I was a fourth year medical student nervous about becoming a doctor, I am now an intern nervous about being a second-year resident. I need to work on my self-directed learning (and my organizational skills to contain and compartmentalize all that learning). I need to figure out what else I want out of residency besides just medical training (e.g., mentoring, outreach, leadership, global health). All in all, residency has been wonderful so far. I am truly happy with my professional life. Medicine is the right choice for me and I am so grateful. 

Physically, I am more disappointed in myself than I have been in years. Last night, David and I wore our wedding outfits (which we wear every year to celebrate our anniversary), and this year was the tightest fit so far. I have gained at least 10 lbs since starting residency. We signed up for Tough Mudder, which is about 5 months away. Training will require a huge commitment and change in lifestyle. We've taken baby steps, but have not taken the plunge. I'm not worried that we will take training seriously, because Jenny doesn't waste money. Tough Mudder is a huge deal for both of us, but especially David. I've done a couple half-marathons and a full-marathon. David hasn't even done a 5K. We're talking 10-12 miles of hard-ass obstacles. I was surprised when he agreed, but I'm so excited to share this experience with him. We need this. 

Personally, I'm also doing well. David and I continue to be as in love as ever. Being in love is one thing, but the ability to be your true self with another person, that's why we work. I am an individual, I am my own being...but David and I form a unit, which is its own being. Our individual lives depend on this unit. Its existence sustains us. And that is why we can never imagine divorce. It may sound a little unhealthy and co-dependent, but thanks to my handy-dandy qualities of intellectualizing and future orientation, we've already discussed that we wish for the other to "be okay" if either of us were to die and the other survive. Hahaha, I'm quite the planner. 

I wish I could spend more time with family. And there are a ton of friends I'd like to see. I believe second year will allow me more ease to accomplish these 2 things. I've already made a list of people I need to reconnect with. 

My mom gave me her nearly new car. Me, her grown physician daughter. She's probably subtly reminding her most successful daughter that she'll need to be taken care of in her golden years. She's also probably sick of seeing her physician daughter in a 1999 Nissan Altima, which is now going to my dad. I'm going to continue to pay for the car insurance on the Altima...it's getting closer and closer to the time when I will have to take care of my parents.  

If I'm making my life seem peachy keen, it's because it is. Life has been very good to me and continues to be very good to me. I think the worse thing about my life is the ~$170,000 student debt I'm in, and even that doesn't seem so bad when I think of my future income earning potential, which will be in 2 short years!!