I don't post in my blog that often because I write for other people. What I mean by that is I write things I think people will find interesting...and my life's not that interesting.
But I've decided today that I will keep this blog for myself. A lot of thoughts float through my brain throughout the day (thanks to the stimulation of NPR), and I used to reserve those for facebook status updates. But I'm much too deep to limit my thoughts to the confines of a facebook status.
Today, I'm going to write about the new movie An Education. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1174732/
I didn't watch the movie, and probably won't. But it's about a girl who is in her last year of high school (so I'm assuming 17) and her friendship-turned-romance with a man twice her age. And I kid you not, their names are Jenny and David.
As I told my friend Lilian, I don't want to watch this movie because I've lived this movie. And I don't like to be reminded of my past mistakes, because honestly, I find them disgusting. I made so many mistakes while growing up. Not only were there decisions I wish I hadn't made, but I was a person I wish I wasn't. Of course, my unhappy past has shaped who I am today, and to be completely frank, I really like how I turned out. The point is I'm embarrassed to tell you that I started meeting guys off the internet at 12 and only became monogamous this past year. But I should only be embarrassed if I were still that person. And I'm so not. I was a teenager (and pre-teenager) with low self-esteem who sought validation from boys...and men.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
I have this superiority complex where I think my relationship with David is the best relationship ever and the standard all my friends should live by (or try to live up to). Of course the tiny logical part of me keeps me from saying this out loud and explicitly, but I do hint at it and give examples of how happy we are. But I'm an adult, and I know this isn't right. I know that all relationships are different and they make it work the way they want to make it work...and I accept that not all my girlfriends want what I want in a boyfriend.
David and I both have our flaws. But we're both really happy because we strive to make each other happy. I think my superiority complex stems from my girlfriends who talk about their boyfriends not giving them what they want - emotionally and financially. Emotionally, David has given his all to me, we both want the same things for our relationship. Financially, we live together, and when you're already at that level of commitment, there should be no financial secrets. He can't provide me with a lot, but he's completely transparent with his spending. I know when he's over-spending and we discuss it. Just because we live together doesn't mean we split everything in half. I give more because I have more to give, and I know he would do the same when the tables are turned.
I have to force myself to hold my tongue when it comes to my friends. If they want to be in that relationship, it is their choice. While the superiority complex part of me says, "but don't they want what I have?" But David and I have a very specific relationship that works for us. When I'm a baby, he babies me. I have more life experience, more income, and more education - which puts me in the position of teacher in our relationship. I definitely get that not everyone wants that.
I've been mad at him, and I've raised my voice. But my sweet, sweet man has never raised his voice at me, which means we still haven't fought. I've heard that fighting is good for relationships because it means you're communicating. I beg to differ. Couples should communicate before the fighting begins.
Right now as I type this, our loving dog Tao is curled up in my lap. Getting a dog together as a couple really does resemble having a child together. There's a deep bond between the three of us that would be very difficult to break. Plus, we named her after where David and I met (Together As One).
David and I both have our flaws. But we're both really happy because we strive to make each other happy. I think my superiority complex stems from my girlfriends who talk about their boyfriends not giving them what they want - emotionally and financially. Emotionally, David has given his all to me, we both want the same things for our relationship. Financially, we live together, and when you're already at that level of commitment, there should be no financial secrets. He can't provide me with a lot, but he's completely transparent with his spending. I know when he's over-spending and we discuss it. Just because we live together doesn't mean we split everything in half. I give more because I have more to give, and I know he would do the same when the tables are turned.
I have to force myself to hold my tongue when it comes to my friends. If they want to be in that relationship, it is their choice. While the superiority complex part of me says, "but don't they want what I have?" But David and I have a very specific relationship that works for us. When I'm a baby, he babies me. I have more life experience, more income, and more education - which puts me in the position of teacher in our relationship. I definitely get that not everyone wants that.
I've been mad at him, and I've raised my voice. But my sweet, sweet man has never raised his voice at me, which means we still haven't fought. I've heard that fighting is good for relationships because it means you're communicating. I beg to differ. Couples should communicate before the fighting begins.
Right now as I type this, our loving dog Tao is curled up in my lap. Getting a dog together as a couple really does resemble having a child together. There's a deep bond between the three of us that would be very difficult to break. Plus, we named her after where David and I met (Together As One).
Monday, December 21, 2009
Tally of interviews, rejections, and a special third category as of today
Interviews
UC Davis
University of Nevada (Reno)
Uniformed Services University of Health Sciences (Military medical school)
University of Central Florida (Orlando)
UC Irvine (tentative)
Rejections
University of Hawai'i
Georgetown University (Washington D.C.)
Boston University
UC San Francisco
UCLA
Tulane University (New Orleans)
Continue to be reviewed
Penn State
George Washington University (Washington D.C.)
I'm still waiting to be invited by UC Irvine for an interview, but a very important birdie is definitely making it happen. The only rejection that really bummed me out is UCSF, it's a very prestigious school that I hoped to attend. Hawaii was disappointing but expected. What's funny is that UCLA was my dream medical school for most of college, but I'd actually rather avoid living in the craziness of LA.
University of Central Florida called me for an interview. The medical school only has first-year students right now, and I would be in the second class if I go there. But I've decided to think back in the mindset of "I'll go anywhere if it means not taking another year off."
Interviews
UC Davis
University of Nevada (Reno)
Uniformed Services University of Health Sciences (Military medical school)
University of Central Florida (Orlando)
UC Irvine (tentative)
Rejections
University of Hawai'i
Georgetown University (Washington D.C.)
Boston University
UC San Francisco
UCLA
Tulane University (New Orleans)
Continue to be reviewed
Penn State
George Washington University (Washington D.C.)
I'm still waiting to be invited by UC Irvine for an interview, but a very important birdie is definitely making it happen. The only rejection that really bummed me out is UCSF, it's a very prestigious school that I hoped to attend. Hawaii was disappointing but expected. What's funny is that UCLA was my dream medical school for most of college, but I'd actually rather avoid living in the craziness of LA.
University of Central Florida called me for an interview. The medical school only has first-year students right now, and I would be in the second class if I go there. But I've decided to think back in the mindset of "I'll go anywhere if it means not taking another year off."
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