So now I know I can't force myself to blog, I just have to feel like it. Stopped journaling about my interviews after Interview #3, haha. I'm already done with Interview #10, and now I'm done. Now it's time to make a rank list.

Just like my decision between Family Medicine and Psychiatry, I change my mind about what I prioritize and thus which residency programs I want on a daily basis and sometimes even more frequently.

I keep on having epiphanies or keep on learning additional information that shuffles my rank list around in my head. I'm glad for these epiphanies though, they help form my rank list.

But I'm too much in my head. If I let my cerebrum make my decision, that doesn't settle well with me. I need to go with my heart. And my heart is telling me that my top choice is: Long Beach Memorial.

I was with David cooking in the kitchen last night when I decided to just stick with it. No more thinking too much. Just commit and we'll be happy no matter what. And I am so happy.

I put so much pressure on myself forming this rank list. By prioritizing programs, I'm also by extension prioritizing the people in my life, the patient populations of those programs, my values. My overthinking did not let the question be as simple as "Which program feels most right?"

But no more guilt. I am happy.

1. Long Beach Memorial
2. Kaiser Napa-Solano
3. UCSD
4. UCLA
5. UCSF
6. Contra Costa
7. Kaiser WH
8. UCD
9. Kaiser SD

Ok. Here we go.